Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Six-sburgh ain't Shit-sburgh

It's been a while... I took a little breaky break but post-Superbowl monkey business has driven me from my cave and I must jibba-jabba about something...

The Stealers are not the best franchise in pro sports...

Shut the hell up Chris Berman and company, stop over-hyping the Steal Curtain with the already hype happy hype-o-rama that is ESPN.

Ok, so they have won 6 Superbowls... I'm not saying that isn't impressive. But let's take a step back from all the hoopla and take a look at the facts...

Six Superbowls

One more than the Dallas Cowboys and the San Francisco 49ers, who both have won five.

Not exactly all that dominant.

Six Superbowls

Same amount of Word Championships as the Chicago Bulls. The Bulls also had the greatest player in NBA history, Michael Jordan. They also have the greatest single season record (72-10) which, one could argue, would make the 95-96 Bulls the greatest NBA team of all time.

You then have the 14-time World Champion Los Angeles Lakers. Now, if you are like me, you don't really count championships won before the NBA-ABA merger, but that still leaves the Lakers with eight legit-Championships. This post merger way of thinking leaves the 17 time champs the Boston Celtics with seven legit-titles. Either way you look at it, post or pre-merger, all three franchises, the Celtics, the Lakers, and the Bulls, are superior to the Stealers.

Six Superbowls

Since the Stanley Cup became the de jure championship trophey in 1947, the Edmonton Oilers have won five, The Toronto Maple Leafs have won eight, the Detroit Red Wings have won nine, and the Montreal Canadiens have won 17. Again, Edmonton is only one shy and the rest are without a doubt more accomplished franchises than the Stealers.

Six Superbowls

Compared to Baseball that isn't all that impressive. The San Francisco Giants, the Pittsburgh Pirates, and the Cincinnati Reds each have five World Series titles. The Los Angeles Dodgers have six. The Boston Red Sox have seven. The Oakland Athletics have nine. The St. Louis Cardinals have 10.

And then there is the Yankees. The Evil Empire has 26 World Series titles. 26. And I'm supposed to be impressed by the Stealers bringing in 6. That would make them tied for fifth in the MLB.

How any human being capable of breathing and walking at the same time can honestly say the Stealers, with their six World Championships, are some how better than the Yankees and their 26, is unforgivable. I mean come on, the Yankees have 20 more World titles than the Terrible Towel posse.

I know I'm picking on a man who's favourite way to describe things that make him feel funny are "WHOOOOOP" but even for him this is cave man business. Question though, what sounds do you think Berman makes when he's freaking the sheets?



"I COULD BE... I MIGHT BE... I AM!!!!"


"Wow......well... Back to you Steve..."

Sick... His wife Kathy must be a freak.