Thursday, November 6, 2008

Rex Was A Test Tube Baby

The Truth

ESPN guru John Clayton said today that Kyle Orton will most likely sit against the Titans this weekend, despite his claims that he's ready to go.

This means that the Mayor of Munchkin Land aka Rex Grossman will be taking the reigns again (Here he is trying to look like a badass. Adorable).

Why is Rex in the league? I've asked myself this painful question many times, and I think I may have figured out the answer...

Rex Grossman was a failed experiment. Some scientist in some lab miles and miles under a KFC, along with his hunchback/sexy assistant/sexy hunchback assistant, created Rex. What was their goal? To clone Brett Favre....

And they failed.

Keep in mind I hate Brett Favre more than Sarah Palin hated science class. But this is serious. Something sinister is going on here.
Think about it, they're about the same size, they both throw well on the run, they both belong to the "when in doubt, close eyes and throw far" school of quarterback play. Draft freaks even said he was "Favre Like" when he was drafted. But something went terribly, terribly wrong.
To put it in nerd speak, Brett Favre is Superman to Rex Grossman's Bizzaro Superman.
Bizzaro Superman had all the powers of Superman, he was just mentally retarded.

Like Rex.


uisjmc mitchell said...

I'm not sure if Rex has always been mentally retarded, it might have just been him being brainwashed by Spurrier when he was at Florida. Any quarterback could have been successfull in his system there. It was like an early version of Mike Leach's system now (not quite as genius though). Three-plus wide reciever sets on nearly every down. Someone will always be open and it helps for a midget like him to always be in the shotgun so he can see. Being under center in the NFL just doesn't work for him. It's never been a good fit and never will be. He needs to just give it up and go be the quarterback coach at South Carolina. Maybe he can help Spurrier again.

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