Monday, September 29, 2008

The Team That Shouldn't Win Just Might


What I Love And Hate About The 2008 Chicago White Sox

What I Hate...

There is a lot to throw up about when talking about the 2008 Chicago White Sox. For one, if there is a more streaky team in the MLB, well, they should be sent down to Triple A. The same Sox team that took 2 of 3 from hands down the best team in the MLB, the Angels, will then get labeled by the bottom feeding Royals in Chicago. I know this sort of thing happens in baseball, but it seems the Sox are at their best when games don't matter.
They score 10-11-12 runs in a game, then go on a road trip
where they are lucky to score 5 runs total.

They had to take 2 of 3 from the Indians, a team they slapped around all season, to pass the Twins and make the playoffs.

This, apparently, proved to be impossible.

While on the topic of the Twins, here is a little fun fact. The Sox have over 100 more homeruns this year then the Twins, yet the Twins have more RBI's.

This speaks volumes. Dye, Thome, Konerko. Slow, slower, slowest. AJ can't run either, neither can most of the team. How does White Sox GM Kenny Williams adress this problem? Trading for Ken Griffey Jr. of course!

Don't get me wrong, the move was cool for name dropping purposes, but it did nothing to make the Sox any less dependent on the long ball. The very idea of "Ozzie Ball" is meaningless these days because Kenny Williams has made it impossible to play that style of baseball.

No one can steal a base, no one can beat out a throw, no one can turn a pop fly into a sac-fly.
Save for Alexei Ramirez and maybe Orlando Cabrera, you'd be hard pressed to call most of the Sox squad athletes.

Then there is Javier Vasquez. Could he be any less clutch? I couldn't care less how many K's he's tossed this year, the man can't win an important game to save his life. How is he going to contribute in the playoffs if the Sox make them? They are ALL big games.

And lets not forget Carlos Quentin. Yes, he has been amazing this year and looks like he's going to be helping the White Sox for a long time. That doesn't change the fact that the dude injured himself a month before the season ended in a tight race against the Twins. Sorry you popped out Carlos, but it's going to happen. A lot. Punching your bat until you fracture something is not only insane and stupid but it's also embarrassing. You were the leading MVP candidate.
Are you kidding me?

What I Love...

They circle the wagon better then any team in baseball. Get drubbed in Tampa? Ozzie will freak out and they go on a winning streak. Star player takes himself out? Struggling vet Paul Konerko steps it up and bats .380 in September. ESPN analysts start demanding Ozzie's job over demeaning locker room decorations? The team circles their manager and gives him their complete support.
They are less like a baseball team and more like Animal House, stuffing each other in lockers and slamming the game MVP with a shaving cream pie during their post game interviews.

They either got totally lucky or knew something no one did when they hit the jackpot with Carlos Quentin and Alexei Ramirez. They did the same with Gavin Floyd and John Danks. They took chances paying struggling vets Mark Buehrle and Jermaine Dye and both have paid off.

Speaking of taking chances, he may seem insane half of the time but you can't deny there is a method to Ozzie's madness. Whenever the Sox run into a wall Ozzie wigs out, drops a couple f-bombs and for whatever reason they start winning again. Call it taking the heat off his players, call it making his players and coaching staff fearing for their jobs, it just works.

And at the end of the day, as many games as the White Sox have blown this year, they just refuse to go away. Like Peter Gammons said going into the Sox-Tigers game that Chicago pulled out to force a one game playoff against the Twins, there is just something about the "prickly" nature of the White Sox that makes them dangerous when their backs are against the wall.

And special for this post...

What I Better See...

If the Sox are getting pounded by the Twins in the tie breaker game, I better see a bench clearing brawl. Why not? If you can't make the playoffs, why not beat up on a team that will? What are they going to do, suspend you for games that you aren't going to play? I'm thinking A.J. sucker punches Carlos Gomez when he's standing at the plate, or maybe Ozzie Guillen could kick an unsuspecting Twins bat boy in the knee cap.

If you can't beat them, beat them up.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Ozzie and Peanut Need Hugs

What I Hate...

No Love For The Pale Hose
You don't need to lecture me on the issues the White Sox have within the City of Chicago. Growing up a Sox fan in a Cubs town, I'm well aware of the fact that the city will always belong to the Lovable Losers. I understand that. I don't like it, but I've gotten used to it and it no longer irks me.

What I don't understand, however, is why no one in the national media seems to see anything news worthy coming out of the South Side, save for the weekly outburst from Ozzie.

I try and steer clear of being a total homer, but in light of the regular season winding down, allow me to vent.

If the Sox suck, like they have oh so many times in their history, then as a whole, they are scoffed at by the national media and rightfully so. The problem I have with the sports writing world happens when the Sox are occasionally good, like for example this season.
Everyone acts like they are all of a sudden the big bad team that needs to be upset.

All season long, every analyst and anchor from Buck to Kruck waxes poetic about how the Twins are the biggest suprise coming out of the AL Central. Yeah I get that they gave up Santana and Hunter, but are they really the most suprising team? They have Mauer and Morneau, better all around players then anyone on the Sox. They have hyper fast outfielders in Young and Gomez. They were picked to finish 3rd in the Central behind the Tigers and the Indians.

The White Sox were picked to finish either last or second to last depending on the expert. Worst to first is a more suprising leap then third to second or even third to first. Yet the Twins are the suprise? Look at the White Sox roster.

I mean really look at it.
How the Hell have they gotten this far?

It's a team of geriatric home run hitters and a couple guys who can field but can't really hit. Their bullpen WAS lights out but hasn't been in months. Our best player has been kissing bench for a month now because he is really smart and injured himself by bashing his forearm into a bat repeatedly.
Just because the White Sox were the really scary bad guy team in Angels in the Outfield AND one of the Major League movies (I think it was the second one) doesn't mean they are some sort of juggernaut. They suck usually. They sort of suck now. Yet across the Baseball world, the Twinkies are getting all the Aw-Shucks points and the Sox are treated like the heartless winning machine, ripe for an upset.

Did I miss something?


What I Love...


Charles Tillman

I know, I should be hating on him right? He showed no self control and cost the Bears the game right? Well firstly, he didn't. The Bears-Bucs game never should have gone to overtime. The Bears Defense blew a double digit lead in the 4th quarter to a Brian Greise ran offense. Ron Turner jumped back into his shell and stopped going to Brandon Lloyd for the kill. Robbie Gould missed a fairly easy field goal.

Tillman was slapped with a 15 yard penatly when he was caught throwing punches at the end of a drive ending play that would have forced the Bucs to punt out of their endzone in OT, giving the Bears fairly good field position to try and get a game winning drive going. It sounds bad. It wasn't, or at least I don't see it that way.

For one, it was a two team rumble and any good ref would have thrown multiple flags that would offset each other and everything would have been kosher.

But lets forget about that and look at the situation. Tampa Bay offensive lineman Jeremy Trueblood found himself on top of Bears defensive end Adewale Ogunleye at the end of the play, so naturally, he stars clubbing Ogunleye in the face repeatedly.

Tillman saw his teamate on his back taking cheap shots to the face, so he did what a good teamate would do and ran in to help him. I don't have a problem with this at all. Win or loss I'd rather pull for a team where the players have eachother's back.

I mean what should he have done? Said "Well I'm going to let this fat guy keep pounding my teamate in the skull, possibly doing some real damage, 'cuz gee wiz I there's a slim chance my teams demented offense could pull off a win."

And for all the morally outraged fans out their who are quick to call players who get in fights bad role models for the youngsters out their should ask themselves this; if your son is at the playground, and some kid is beating the crap out of one of his friends, should he just sit their and watch so he doesn't get in trouble?

Tillman, at the core of it, was sticking up for one of his friends, that's what I'm going to teach my kids to do, and I'm not going to hate on Peanut Tillman for doing so.

What I Don't Understand...

Quarterback Jumble

During last Saturday's Iowa-Pitt game, the Hawkeye coaching staff started Jake Christensen, pulled him and gave Ricky Stanzi the ball, and then pulled him and tossed Jake back in. They both pretty much accomplished the same, Ricky set up a scoring drive, Jake ran one in. Neither player really brings anything different to the table. It's not like one is the passer and one is a rushing threat. They are both pretty standard pocket passers. So pick one. Jake has looked equal parts great and terrible in his career at Iowa, and Stanzi played very well against Florida International and played very poorly against Iowa State.

What I'm saying is, pick one and stick with them. By flipping between them, all your doing is wrecking their confidence.

I wan't someone on the coaching staff to explain to me the reasoning behind the mid game flips, or in the case of the Pitt game, multiple changes of heart.

It didn't work for the Bears.

I doubt It will pan out for the Hawkeyes.






Sunday, September 21, 2008

Overtime and Coke: Bad Rules and Big D


What I Hate...
NFL Overtime

I know I've complained about the NFL sudden death overtime before, but considering two games ended in OT this weekend, I feel like I need to hop back on that soap box.

I understand that the NFL is the only major American team sport that doesn't allow local broadcasts, so naturally there are going to be some scheduling issues if all those games are on only two channels (AFC games on CBS, NFC on FOX).

But there is something seriously wrong about rules being set up for the benefit of TV deals, and at the expense of fair competition.

Some sports have sudden death overtimes, for example hockey, but this just doesn't make sense in football due to the nature of an offensvive unit running play after play against a defensive unit. The team that gets stuck on defense is put at a complete disadvantage.

Think what it would be like if other sports adopted this backwards practice.

Sudden death baseball? One team hits a walk off homerun in the top of the 10th, and the game is over? The team on defense never gets to step up to bat. How stupid would that be?

Or sudden death basketball. What if overtime was just the first person to score? No one would be cool with that.
They have been playing high school and college football way longer than the NFL has been around, and there overtime system reflects that. Both team get an equal shot at the endzone, each team gets a shot at stopping them. Over and over until its over.

All I'm saying is that a game shouldn't be decided on a coin toss. Period.

What I Love...

The Rebirth of the Cowboys

Disclaimer, I hate the Cowboys. I'm not happy about them being superbowl favorites because I like them, quite the opposite. When Tom Brady went down, the Patriots became a lot less scary. Last seasons bottom feeder Miami beating the Pats this Sunday did even more to make Boston seem like just another team.



Who's left to hate? The Patriots were the perfect bad guys. Pretty boy quarterback that most guys hate for that very reason. Heartless coach with a thing for running up the score. Painfully annoying fan base (they are Red Sox fans, don't forget that). Randy Moss.


Every sport needs the devil.
Enter the Cowboys.

Remember how annoying they were back in the day? Jimmy Johnson and his goofy hair. Emmit Smith passing Walter Payton, maybe the most loved human in sports history, on the all time rush list. Michael "Nose Candy" Irvin. Deion Sanders.

Now they could be almost as painful. Tony Romo is everywhere. They have Tank Johnson AND Pacman Jones. Jerry Jones is seemingly trying to take back his crown as most irritating owner in Texas from Mark Cuban. Then you've got T.O. At least Michael Irvin's off the field garbage was fun, coke fueled orgies build team unity. T.O. just cries on TV and tries to kill himself.

And the fans? More irksome than Yankee and Laker fans combined, and every bit as trendy for people of the fair weather variety.

They call themselves "America's Team".
I can't wait to cheer against them.

And new on my blog...
What I Don't Understand...
Pep Talk by Ozzie
The Chicago White Sox are set to take on the Minnesota Twins. The series is in Minnesota, and set to start the series opener for the White Sox is the incredibly average Javier Vasquez. Big game right? The skipper may want to offer some words of encouragement right? You don't know Ozzie.
When asked about Vasquez's big game pitcher cred...
"He hasn't been. That's the bottom line. What you see is what you get."
Really Ozzie? Your going the "You suck now prove me wrong" approach on a guy who quite frankly hasn't shown he can handle criticism and hardship?
Then again, he's got a ring.
And hey, it worked for Bobby Knight.
















Monday, September 15, 2008

What You Were Talking About

This is my list of the 10 most memorable moments in sports from the last decade. This isn't a list of my personal most memorable moments, but what I feel was most memorable on a national scale

1. 2004 World Series: Boston beats St.Louis
Boston finally ended an 86 year drought and overcame the curse of the Bambino. This is also huge because in recent years they have become a powerhouse by taking another World Series ring and are now neck and neck with the Yankees for control of the Western Hemisphere.

2. Super Bowl XLII: New York 17 New England 14
The ultimate team goes down to the goofy Manning. How did no one do that in the regular season? They pretty much blitzed Brady...alot. They more or less played the Patriots like I played NFL Blitz for Nintendo 64.

3. NBA Finals 1998: Bulls-Jazz
The greatest player to play the game ends his career with the game winning shot in the NBA Finals. Yes, I realise that it wasn't really his last game, but it was the last time he was still His Airness, not, well, whatever the Hell he was on the Wizards.

4. 2005 World Series: White Sox sweep Astros
A year after Boston broke the drought, the White Sox broke their 88 year dry spell with an 11-1 run through the playoffs. This is especially important because the White Sox are the second favorite baseball team in their own city. By winning the World Series, it made the Cubs-Sox rivalry 100 times more bitter.

5. Fiesta Bowl 2007: Boise State 43 Oklahoma 42
Maybe the greatest football game I will ever see. That and it played like a movie, I mean after Ian Johnson scored the game winning touchdown off of a STATUE OF LIBERTY play, he actually proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend. It almost seemed scripted. That, and it was the biggest upset since the Mighty Ducks defeated Team Iceland in Mighty Ducks 2.

6. 2004: Pistons-Pacers Brawl (Malice at the Palice)
Biggest Public Relations hit the NBA will likely ever have. Brawls are all good but when the fans get involved then you have some problems. Something to think about though, why weren't the fans given the proper amount of hate that all the players got. Lets be honest, what would you do if someone sucker punched you and threw beer on you. You might take a swing at them too.


7. 2001 ALCS: Yankees beat Mariners 4 games to 1
The only time the country hasn't hated the Yankees across the board. After the 9/11 attacks, America actually got behind the bad guys and rightfully so. They were unable to win the World Series, but just getting there was enough to help things get back to normal for much of the country.

8. 2004 Athens Summer Olympics: Team USA goes down
When mens basketball was defeated by Argentina 89-81, team USA had to settle for the Bronze medal. This forced America to re-acess how it approached Olympic basketball, namely that they couldn't just show up and win simply because they had more NBA players then the other teams.
9. 2006: Terrell Owens Hydrocodone overdose
Out of all the insane garbage TO finds himself in, nothing beats the time he just about killed himself. Despite what the police said, TO and his publicist both denied anything crazy went down, but at the end of the day, he was still carried out of his home, unresponsive, and his publicist still called 9-1-1 in fear that her client had tried to commit suicide.

10. 2003: Kobe Bryant Sex Assault Charge
The NBA almost saw their best player go away for a sexual assault charge. The woman in question refused to testify though, and for the most part Bryant has been seen as innocent. However, at the time of the allegation, Bryant lost most of his sponsors and his hopes to be seen as the Michael Jordan of his era looked like an impossibility.




















Sunday, September 14, 2008

Shanahanigans

What I Hate...


Coward Coaches

The Chicago Bears were down 20-17 to the Carolina Panthers and on the road. The clock was winding down, this was there last possession of the ball game. Chicago was at midfield. 4th and 1. Give it to your fullback right? That's what the Bears did. Grind it out for the first down. That's what I would do...If it was 1958 and I was Bear Bryant.
Bears fullback Jason McKie was stuffed. Bears lose.

By calling a fullback dive on 4th and 1 with the game on the line, Bears offensive coordinator Ron Turner basically said "I don't trust quarterback Kyle Orton to hit a one yard curl to a tight end when the game is on the line." Not only was his call vanilla, old school, and timid, it was a no confidence vote for his starting quarterback. Playing it safe in a comeback situation is not going to get you a W.

Kyle Orton is no super star, but he's proven that he is very accurate in the short passing game. Running Back Matt Forte is very capable in the passing game and would have been a great target for a short two or three yard dump off pass out of the back field. They just had to get into field goal range.

The Panther's weren't about to let the Bears recievers get down the field to make a reception that would put the bears in field goal range, so it was the perfect time for a fast-cut route for minimal gain. That short, easy to make passing play would have kept the Bears alive. Instead Ron Turner went with the ground a pound running game, serving the mentality the Bears have preached for decades, and why they will sadly always be also rans.
Back in the 60's, it was smash mouth, today, it's just cowardly.




What I Love...

Mike Shanahan and going for the win


This just doesn't happen enough. In the age of coaches being brought in and kicked out every three seasons, many are too afraid of failure to take victory.

During Sundays Denver-San Diego game, the Broncos were down 29-38 with 24 seconds left. Follwoing a controversial call by the refs that allowed a clear lost fumble by Jay Cutler be ruled an incomplete pass, Cutler connected on a four yard pass on 4th down to rookie reciever Eddie Royal. Down by one, conventional wisdom says kick the extra point, squib the kick off, and then battle it out in overtime. That's the safe call.

It's not, however, going for the win. Shanahan opted to go for two, and Cutler connected again with Royal, who was in double coverage, for a game winning two-point conversion.

Shanahan has two super bowl rings, and it doesn't seem like he's worried about losing his job anytime soon, but going for two was still an awesome call.

The NFL has the hands down worst overtime setup in all of sports. Instead of using the overtime style used in both college and high school football, were both teams are given an equal shot at scoring, The NFL decides there overtime on a coin flip. One team gets the ball and tries to score on a tired defense. If they score, it's game over. The NFL says hey, you know what's more important than fairness? Ending games in a timely fashion

San Diego is a better team than Denver, at least on paper. It was upset time and the last thing Shanahan wanted was to risk the Chargers getting the ball in overtime and letting Darren Sproles break off another huge touchdown run.

Yes, they could have been stopped by San Diego's defense, but when your that close to the goal line, isn't that situation really in the offenses favor? If someone bet you 10 bucks that Denver wasn't going to get the 2-point conversion, wouldn't you take it? I would. Both defenses looked suspect all game, and as the game goes on, favor falls with the offense.

The possibility of failure hand-cuffs too many play-callers. Props to Mike Shanahan for not being afraid to fail.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Sucker Punches and Spelling Bees

There are a lot of messed up things about American sports today, but if I could only change three things, they would be...


Change Number One


Stop playing the National Spelling Bee on ESPN

I don't care if it is on ESPN 6 or whatever. It's not a sport. I'm not all that bright but i'm pretty certain that ESPN is a sports network. I have a hard enough time considering NASCAR a sport or Golfers athletes. Just because the average American can't do it doesn't make it a sport. Most people can't speak three languages, but being tri-lingual isn't a sport. Neither is being able to spell difficult words.


Who's idea was this?


I mean seriously, are they making the claim that these kids are athletes?


I'm pretty sure nothing is going on at those competitions that involves a whole lot of agility, or strength, or having any limbs.


C-SPAN maybe. ESPN no.








Change Number Two



Treat Quarterbacks like football players, not snowflakes



I'm all for keeping injuries to a minimum, especially in a sport like football where injuries are so prevelent, but it's getting out of hand.


In the Bears Colts game, Urlacher came in and hit Peyton Manning as the ball was leaving his hands, you know, he was playing defense. Instead, he was slapped with a roughing the passer penalty, because apparently Peyton Manning wears all those pads because they make his legs look slimmer, not because, well, it's a contact sport. I mean what's Urlacher supposed to do, he jumped into Peyton Manning, he tossed up a prayer at the last possible moment.


I wasn't aware that the definition of roughing the passer was any contact with a QB that isn't a sack. It's already pretty much illegal for cornerbacks to cover wide recievers without getting slapped with a pass interference call, and holding is basically never called, and your not allowed to horse coller tackle anyone so if your trailing a ball carrier your options are real limited. Why are we making it even harder to play defense. Are they trying to make the NFL the NBA?



Change Number Three




The Double Standard of Sports Brawls.


When Carmelo Anthony and co. got in a scrap with the Knicks last season, Anthony recieved a 15 game suspension. He was also called a thug, as were his teamates and opponents. All that for more or less slapping someone and then retreating.







When a bench clearing brawl occured between the Chicago White Sox and the Chicago Cubs a couple seasons ago, all anyone talked about was the heated Cubs-Sox rivalry and how A.J. Pierzynski has a knack for getting into shenanigans. This is a fight that saw a Cubs player heading to the hospital after getting clocked by Brian Anerson.


Sportscenter plays often nasty hockey fights on the top ten plays of the day.



Am I knocking sports brawls? No way. I love sports brawls. They're proof that athletes play for more then just money.


My problem is with the double standard.



15 day suspension and public shaming for Carmelo Anthony, a couple minutes in the penalty box for a hockey fight that ends in a knock out. "But it's hockey man, boys will be boys!" I agree totally, but why are those same sports folk talking about the NBA and its image problem?


Is it a race thing? The NHL is almost totally white, the MLB has more white and hispanic players than black. The NBA however, is for the most part black. Is it a race thing? You tell me?


Carmelo slapping and dancing=thug.


Nolan Ryan puts Robin Ventura in a head lock and bashes him in the skull repeatedly=teaching a young whipper snapper a lesson in manners.


Race thing? Without a doubt, and it's thinly veiled.

The Fun Police and Jim Abbott






What I Hate...


Nothing truly captures the pure joy of sports like when mindless rule-nazis throttle the life out of logic.
You had your classic college football upset scare in the works. #15 Brigham Young was on the road and struggling to put away a Washington team powered by "Baby Tebow" Jake Locker. Down 28 to 21 and driving, The Washington Huskies had backed the BYU Cougars against their goaline.

That's when Locker put on the hero pants and scrambled into the endzone as time expires. All they had to do now was pop in the extra point and get ready for overtime. But it wasn't that simple, because wouldn't you know it, the REAL heroes had to come in and save us FROM Locker.
Turns out Locker had the balls to jump up in the air after scoring a potentially game saving touchdown and, wait for it, throw the ball in...the...air.

My GOD, who does this scumbag think he is.
Good things the refs came in and taught Locker a lesson about not being happy by slapping him and his teamates with a 15 yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. This backed up the Hustkies, forcing them to kick a 35 yard extra point that was blocked by BYU, giving the Cougs the W.

After the game, the refs defended themselves by saying they had to throw the flag as stated by NCAA rules.
"After scoring the touchdown, the player threw the ball into the air and we are required, by rule, to assess a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. It is a celebration rule that we are required to call. it was not a judgment call."

Thats garbage. If every illegal play was called holding would be called on every single play of every single game on every single level of football. This is a fact. My high school offensive line coach taught our offensive line to hold.
It's called logic. The kid jumped in the air, tossed the ball up (while facing one of his teamates, not the opposing fans) and hugged a teamate. Are you kidding me. How many times does an opposing player do a mock gator chop when they score a touchdown at the swamp? How many times does a Longhorn player throw up a hook 'em horn sign when they score (or a "horns down" sign when they're an opposing player). Yet you can't throw a ball up a few feet when you pull off an upset creating touchdown? The refs didn't win the game for BYU, but they pretty much lost the game for the Huskies.

Apparently emotion has no place in college football.

What I love...
15 years ago on September 4th Jim Abbott pitched a no hitter against the Cleavland Indians (he pitched for the Yankees).



He is one of four left handed pitchers to throw a no hitter for the Yankees. He's the only one, however, that was born without a right hand. I had forgotten about him though and I'm suprised I did.



Has there been a greater story in sports, any sport, well, ever? I mean this is not an athlete with a disability who was on the bench or only saw action at practice, this was a PITCHER who was born with one hand who not only was a big league starter for ten years, but was a first round draft pick, winner of the James E. Sullivan award in 1987 for the nations top amatuer athlete, won the Big Ten MVP award (pitching for Michigan) and won a gold medal at the 1988 summer olympics!



When's the movie coming out? For real. Just make sure Disney doesn't the rights to the story and make some watered down crappy kids movie about it.


I challenge you to find an athlete more deserving of our respect.






Monday, September 1, 2008

Frank Beamer Hates Cupcakes



I'm Sean Morgan, and I love sports. For the most part anyway. For every Boise State upset of Oklahoma there's Brett Favre being called a gunslinger for throwing interceptions and wearing wranglers. This is my soap box




Cupcake Weekend




What I Hate...


What exactly does the University of Iowa learn about their team by kicking the crap out of Maine University? The Hawekeyes offense has been playing the Hawkeyes defense for the last half a year, so tell me, what does any big school learn about themselves by abusing Division 746 Vermont? Let me put it this way...

Maine Defenseive Tackle Douglas Alston is 6 foot 3, 215 pounds
Iowa Quarterback Jake Christensen is 6 foot 1, 215 pounds
Need I say more?
Yes I do, because as lame as it is that giant schools pretend that spanking students from Stony Brook University somehow makes their players more battle tested, the real scumbag in this is the tiny schools that take the beatings.
4.5 million dollars were given to the Maine Athletic Department so that their players could be shipped to Iowa City and be shamed and executed. But hey, atleast there's cheerleaders.
What I Love...
When big pompous schools pay tiny schools crazy money to slap them in public. It's like in Dirty Harry when the bad guy pays a drug dealer to stomp on his face so Clint Eastwood won't recognize him. And if you didn't get that reference, don't worry about it, it just means you have more friend then me, or cooler ones, or both.