After the quick exit by the Chicago Cubs, I'm moved to vent about one of the dumbest beliefs in sports.
That a team can actually be cursed...
The Red Sox proved how stupid a notion this was when they defeated the so called "Curse of the Bambino" when they won the World Series back in 2004.
Now, the Cubs more or less got ran over by the Dodgers this year. Mr. Clutch Aramis Ramirez stranded 19 batters. Alfonso Soriano made his case to become the A-Rod of the National League with his .212 lifetime average in the post season. This was their highest pay roll in team history, most wins in the national league, the favorites to win the NLCS.
Yet seemingly intelligent adult sports writers and talking heads continue to mention the curse when covering the Cubs post season collapse.
Really? So some idiot back in the day was cranky because his goat got denied entrance into Wrigley. So he said the Cubs would never win the World Series and blah blah blah.
That guy must of had a sweet life.
"If my son doesn't get an A in Algebra, then I curse his teacher with 7 untwanted pregnancies!"
"If I get passed over for this job, then I curse my boss with 10 years of erectile dysfunction!"
"If I can't get my Cow into this Bears game, then many decades from now they will make it to the Superbowl only to be thwarted by their own partially retarded elf-man quarterback who shall wear the number 8!"
I would not want to make that guy angry.
Then of course there was a black cat running around on the field and really, how are you supposed to overcome that!
And Bartman...was that part of the goat curse, the black cat, or was that something totally new?
I mean wow, if that's all it takes to destroy a team then I need to say a few things...
- I forever curse the Detroit Pistons for as long as 'Sheed continues to run around like a seven year old after he gets a traveling call. They will be forced to play in Detroit for all eternity!
- If Tony Kornheiser doesn't stop bringing up Brett Favre and how much of a gun slinger he is during Monday Night Football when the Jets aren't even playing, then I curse him to be forced to work only with Shannon Sharpe, calling 9 man football games in Nebraska for the rest of his days.
- I curse the Dallas Cowboys to have Jessica Simpson become their new defensive coordinator if my friend Travis doesn't stop saying things like "There is a hole in the roof at Texas Stadium so God can watch his team."
- If Jay Mariotti doesn't find a new city to ruin then I forever curse him to have to live in an apartment with Hawk Harrelson.
- And finally, Carmen Electra will never win an oscar until she marries me. So far this one is working pretty good actually.
There is no Santa Claus, The Stork didn't drop you off at your parents doorstep, and there is no such thing as curses.
Grow up people.